I love burgers. My favourite conversation topic is burger talk and what makes a good burger. These conversations take place largely in my mind, because I am a creep and no one wants to sustain burger conversations with me for too long. I’m not sure why.

Lucky Chip burger van in the Netil Markets, near Broadway Markets. Burger gossip (not a real thing) tells me they are amazing. So I must go and sample the delights for myself in search for burger porn heaven.

Cheese fries. Proper cut potatoes, right amount of cheese grate on top, these were brilliant. Appropriately seasoned, even when I was completely full and these were stone cold and I was reduced to picking at them, they were still insanely crispy. I just couldn’t admit defeat and just stop eating them.

Not content with one portion of fries the following was also ordered:

Fries w/wasabi mayo and sweet chilli sauce (the sauces were ok if you like wasabi. I, myself, am unfussed).

Fries w/chilli cheese (delicious and a meal in themselves)

Beetroot flavoured onion rings (crispy but the batter was lacking something, I dunno)

And now, behold, the Lucky Chip cheeseburger:

A true thing of beauty. And also the special guest burger of the week, the Sheen burger. Um, there are no inards shots as I was in burger heaven. Sorry.

The true mark of what made this burger so perfect was that I had no need to add extra condiments to it. Nothing. Nada. It was perfect as it was. This is a first. Not just in burgerland where the fries are always crispy and the patties always rare, but in all different culinary adventures. Vietnamese food? Douse it in Sriracha sauce. Steak? Bernaise sauce. Dumplings? Chilli oil. And Soy. And vinegar. Sunday roast? Mint sauce. Or horseradish cream. Or apple sauce. Ketchup, mustard, mayo, BBQ sauce, sweet chilli sauce, I love it all. But in my Lucky Chip cheeseburger? Didn’t need it. I know, I’m shocked too.

To keep things snappy, here is an itemized list of what else I loved about Lucky Chip:

1. No one flinched or looked shocked when I asked for my burger to be cooked rare. I believe my exact words were ‘if the pattie could still be neon pink, that would be great, please’. And when the burger was brought to me, I was told that if it wasn’t pink enough, to let them know and they’d do it again. When I ate it, it was actually a little bit over-cooked, but I it wasn’t LC’s fault. I succumbed to the shitty social etiquette deemed required of eating situations where no one can eat unless everyone’s food is present. Had I shunned that required societal expectation, I truly believe my pattie would have been the neon pink, I so love.

2. This brings me to my next love. Even though the pattie was slightly cooked more than I preferred, it was still ridiculously juicy. That is a good meat pattie, right there. My hands were covered in my meat juice and smelled of burger for hours. Thus is the hazard of food truck eating one should be prepared for.

3. Melty American cheese properly melted over the pattie. They used a cloche to trap the steam. That is good. What is NOT good is going to GBK and not being able to order American Cheese and settling for NOT AMERICAN and when it arrives it’s not even close to melted. The meat however will be over-cooked. Yeah, they suck. But I digress.

4. Correct amount of vegetables. I hate too much lettuce and tomato. What I eating here? A salad? No thanks. And even worse is salad that is too cold (Hi GBK!). It disrupts the delicate burger balance.

5. Good bun. Held up to meat juices well and was soft. Didn’t cut my palate. Always appreciated.

I could talk about how we had to wait 15 minutes to order as they were too busy clearing a back log of orders, I could talk about how the person taking orders was particularly flustered by everything and would start to bring food orders over, then stop – take them back, check the order slip, and come back (food tease!) but I won’t. Cuz the burgers were amazing. AMAZING. I actually can’t remember the last time a burger had such a profound effect on myself. I am still thinking about it and am planning my next visit.

All future burgers shall be held in esteem to be deemed worthy of being even mentioned in the same sentence as Lucky Chip. And that is all I have to say about that.

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